July 4 Post Six

Jacob asks Sarah and Casey to move in with him. Casey is now ten years old, making Sarah really think about this decision. She does not want to go into something that is unstable and she has not given any thought about starting a new relationship with Jacob. Sarah only wants what is best for her daughter and the best would be having a stable home environment, but she is not sure if she can provide that by moving in with Jacob.

After being turned down, Jacob then suggests that they split time a bit more with Casey and she comes to stay with him on the weekends. He enjoys spending time with her and Casey’s abilities have improved since he came back into the picture. Sarah needs more time to think about this as well. Since Casey was born, she hasn’t had much time to herself and would enjoy being able to spend a weekend with her new boyfriend instead but she is worried about the two different environments for Casey weekly. She sometimes still has trouble during transitional periods and is afraid it may be more stress on her than necessary. Several times a week she will still throw tantrums when she does not want to move to a new task. Her tantrums are non-violent at least and only involve her throwing herself on the floor and refusing to move. Sarah has learned that it is best to ignore Casey during these times because once she tries to comfort her the tantrums get worse.

However, Sarah does still want to move out of her parent’s house. She has no privacy and no independence to truly call her own. She starts looking for apartments nearby to rent. She thinks she may be able to afford it if she can be approved for government assistance.

Sarah and Jacob partnered to develop a daily and weekly list of chores and everyday tasks for Casey. They made a check list and for her reward she receives a sticker when she completes them all—if she completes a whole week successfully they take her for ice cream or frozen yogurt. This has really benefited Casey and has helped her remember tasks for everyday life. She can make her own bed, put her clothes away, put the dishes away, feed the cat, wipe down tables, and set the table. Sarah and Jacob have noticed that the positive reinforcement and reward system has truly helped Casey be motivated and work to achieve these minor tasks that is normal for most children her age.

The chores keep Casey practicing her fine motor functions daily causing her to improve greatly over the next year. Even on days when Sarah wants to give her a break, she remembers back to when Casey forgot how to write her name over the course of a summer. She can easily forget a task if not made to do it so Sarah enforces her chores continuously, even on holidays and special occasions.

Casey’s school life is a transition. She still has trouble with inappropriate touching of classmates at times but it is becoming less frequent due to reinforcement by the teaching staff. She must be told exactly what she is doing wrong and to stop for it to be effective. She has made one friend in class who is a year younger than her who has moderate autism. They often prefer to complete tasks while near one another or will play parallel to each other.

At recess she is very outgoing and energetic; however, her coordination trips her up at times. One day Casey fell while chasing a classmate around the playground and fractured her right wrist in the metacarpal bones. This was a huge setback for her since Casey was right handed and had nearly mastered writing properly. Other adolescents at this age would have no problem picking back up where they left off but for Casey, she may have to relearn a lot of basic skills of writing. This also sets her back on other tasks around the house she normally completed on a daily basis. The good news was that Casey would heal quickly and be in a cast for only four to five weeks. Hopefully, this would be a short enough time span for her.

For the first week, the cast is very frustrating and Casey requests that it be removed because she doesn’t like it. Her parents try to explain to her why she has to keep wearing it but she insists that it be taken off. After some arguing, she becomes irate and will throw tantrums and try to pull off her cast.

Casey is now eleven and has started to notice more how children in the other classrooms watch her class as they walk down the hall. Some of them snicker to themselves and point at them. She doesn’t fully understand why yet but she knows that it makes her feel very frustrated or sad usually. They say words that she doesn’t know the meaning of like “retards” and “freaks.” She asks her teachers what the words mean but they refuse to talk about it with her. She asks her mother who hesitates but explains that they are mean names that mean people call others to make themselves feel better. Casey feels like the other kids are calling her names because she is different from them but she doesn’t know how.

Questions

1. What are ways for Sarah and Jacob to maintain and continue to improve Casey’s fine motor functions while her wrist heals? Would continuing to use her hand expand the healing time of her fracture?

2. How likely is it that Sarah will qualify for government assistance? Would she be able to afford a rental with it?

3. What are the consequences for an adolescent with FASD when they have separated or divorced parents with joint custody and travel often between two homes? Consult the literature.

Decision Point: Does Sarah move out of her parents’ house?

Hage, Deborah.The Lifelong Effects of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Good Parenting Is Not Enough. Retrieved June 29, 2014 from http://www.deborahhage.com/articles/fas2.html.

NOFAS. Living with FASD. Retrieved July 4, 2014 from http://www.nofas.org/living-with-fasd/.